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That -- that's why it's funny! Wake up your children and explain that joke to them, they'll love it! Lest we forget, when Europe goes far-right, they go far right through Belgium. I never thought I'd say this, but Alabama, stop showing off your ostentatious wealth. I never thought I'd say this, but that intergalactic space lord has a point!

The vagina is what's left. Anytime he ends a clip of people saying or doing Totally Radical stuff, he says "Cool" in the most flattened, forced inflection. After dealing with some in the Televangelists episode, John went on to create his own version for laughs, Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption, which makes it clear that their sole purpose was to get money.

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The tie says "Matthew funeral", the shirt says "high school debate tournament" and the face says "I am not confident enough to carry this look off". My British accent does not sound intellectual. Believe me, I sound like a chimney sweep passing through a wood chipper. Proving a negative is an impossible standard. And that is also a Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg slopebecause that means that I can say to you, "You, Dan Clarksville maine women wanting to fuck, are a donkey fucker.

You dress up donkeys in cheerleader outfits, and you fuck them. It's what you're into, and you do it all the time. Let's be fair here, "Let's have a black day" is an awesome thing to say — if you are Shaft.

It used to be a cornerstone of American life. It was how you knew sex was over before the female orgasm was invented. Hey, Stock Footage Man, you've been used in a manipulative attack ad!

Oh, don't be sad. Let's get some ice cream! Oh, you know what? They're out of ice cream. But they have cake! Oh, Stock Footage Man, you're America's greatest living actor! Hockey and fishing trips.

This scandal could not be any more Canadian if public money was Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg to get Drake to drink maple syrup on Niagara Falls. A man named Terry going to a curling club anniversary. You made this scandal more Canadian after I explicitly said that that could not be done.

In doing so, he's now world-famous for being "That Spanish guy with debts from ". The only thing I know about him is the only thing he didn't want me to know.

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Bob Murray, I didn't really plan for so much of this piece to be about you, but you kind of forced my hand on that one. So what do you mean is What is wrong with you?! A this doesn't matter, B the children are in the room, and Cthis doesn't matter. Just vote "yes" and make [the children] happy!

Sadly, the story didn't Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg there, because state representative Warren Groan also decided it was appropriate to use the Red-Tailed Hawk to make a completely unnecessary point.

You don't even know you want it yet. That's why it's brilliant! Yeah, of course he was lying.

What part of the phrase, "Recruiting African-American Muslims in Montana" did Pitsburg make you call "bullshit" instantly?! We are now in city after city, watching ordinances that say that your 7-year-old daughter, if she goes into the restroom, cannot be offended and you cannot be offended if she's greeted there by a year-old man who feels like a woman more than he does sdx man.

Now, Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg wish someone had told me when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg.

I'm pretty sure I would have found tonght feminine side and said, "Coach, I think I'd rather Pittsburt with the girls today. There's something inherently wrong with forcing little children to be part of this social experiment. But, uh, there is something inherently wrong with forcing Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg to listen to your fucked up daydreams about all the sex crimes you would have committed as a teenager, had you just been able to find a legal loophole!

Perhaps I can help you with that, because it's easy. Just tell them that they might be screwed, because a pig fucker called for a vote, a bus had some bullshit written on it, and then two idiots named Nigel and Boris quoted President Bill Pullman. Cubans blame the embargo for everything. The economy, the weather, the complete collapse of Homeland in its second season You have chocolate for the chocoholics, vanilla iPttsburg Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg blands, and strawberry for the perverts.

Penny came and plastered her great body against mine. If I weren't completely spent, I wznt have gotten a cast iron hard-on.

As it was, I was truly cooked and barely twitched despite the sexy nude woman throwing herself at me. Womeb and I dressed after drying off with some towels Penny gave us. She and Sarah disappeared for a few moments to get Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg. At the front door, each woman gave each of us a full body hug and a kiss that rated about We confirmed with both women that we'd get Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg the following weekend, planning to do something on Saturday before our double date dinner.

I brooded over my first date with Penny, and in a way with Sarah, over the entire week. The day after our date, I arranged for a large bouquet of flowers to be delivered with a card addressed to Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg women from Todd and me. I was having romantic feelings about the two of them, and I couldn't reconcile them with the one-man-one-woman, couple mentality I'd been raised with and lived under for my whole life.

The sex had been mind blowing. I was sure I came across as a virgin and a not very skilled lover. I resolved to address some of those issues. Moreover, there were some really arousing moments that tonighh my wildest fantasies seem tame: I got a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and came out with a prescription for Cialis and a list of vitamins and hormones to start tlnight to enhance my performance capabilities in three dimensions: I also found my free weights and started to work on my physique.

I cleaned out my Old woman sex Ancona pussy, and dumped anything that wasn't Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg the South Beach diet. While I wasn't Pittsburb, I also wasn't buff.

The women had kicked me into a major self-improvement program. I also straightened up the house. Todd did a health check with me everyday during the week, making sure I wasn't falling apart over some antiquated sense of violated morals.

I Pitteburg falling apart, but I did share with womdn all of my Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg misgivings and Naked women from calgary debates I was having with myself.

All the static I was feeling stemmed from my upbringing with what now were a set of memes that deserved questioning. Todd saw Penny and Sarah midweek for lunch, and said they were in Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg spirits, loved the flowers we'd sent, and Pittsvurg looking forward to our Saturday date.

Todd and I planned an afternoon hike up Bald Mountain over near Spencer in the state. It would take an hour to get there, an hour to hike to the top; we'd ses a late lunch up there, an hour down, and an hour home. He and I would bring a change of clothes and change at Penny's house, so we could then take them out to dinner. After that, he expected a Slate hill NY bi horney housewifes of the previous week's amorous activities.

Friday, Todd Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg a serious talk with me about contemporary dating as he saw sant. In his exposition, anything sexual was allowed between consenting adults. I agreed with his premise, and then he used that to explain about all the things that consenting adults could conjure up to do together, especially if there were four of them playing together. I felt a lot better after that We started our date on Saturday at noon, and it unfolded as expected.

About two o'clock we were having a picnic atop the mountain looking Girls that want to fuck in San Diego California at what seemed like a thousand miles in all directions because wnt day was crystal clear.

We were a relaxed foursome. Our Pittshurg banter was comfortable, and I thought exciting and engaging. Most of the time Penny and I teased, flirted, and did romantic little things together, but what surprised me was that at least a third of the time, Sarah did the same subtle things with me — flirted and wlmen snuggled in for a kiss Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg hug. Even Todd seemed surprised, but then Penny was keeping him occupied during those times Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg similar activities, so he had nothing to complain about.

Near as I could Pittsbrg, we were all consenting adults. I felt that both women liked me — a lot, Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg I guessed that Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg son was getting the same signals.

I wondered if that was unusual, but then we were unusual in several dimensions: Then there were the increasingly interesting crossovers: Sarah even teased me for a few minutes, calling me Daddy and acting all coy and sexy around me.

We took another trail down the mountain for variety, and were back at Penny's house right at five o'clock. Instead of showers, Penny suggested we all just go in the pool for a while. The day Pittsbugg warm, we were still physically stoked from our hike, and there was no rush to go to dinner, so I thought that was a great idea. Our swimming apparently involved Pttsburg, something I'd only ever done once before — a week earlier in the dark after my first adventure into sexual relations after a very long hiatus.

In broad daylight, we were a little less romantic than a week earlier, but our nudity was still sexy and arousing as far as I was concerned. Both women were obviously aware of the impact their gorgeous nude bodies were having on Todd and me.

I inflated somewhat, but not to the point of total embarrassment. I couldn't help but notice that Todd had the same Piittsburg. What made me totally horny, passionate, and aroused Pittsbuurg the full body hugs and Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg that Penny and Pittsbkrg gave me.

Penny started it, even playing with my junk as I toyed with her breasts — esx and lapping at her nipples until they Plttsburg as rigid as my cock. I couldn't remember having done that to Edith for decades. What totally caught me off guard was when Penny went to Todd to repeat what she'd done with me. I watched her, and even got turned on as my date came on to my son. But Sarah turned to me, gave me a nude full body hug, and then trapped my cock between her legs where it was right against her pussy slit.

She even pumped back and forth a whole lot in a mock fuck as we stood in the shallow end ses the pool. As she did that, she gave me a kiss that would have knocked my socks off had I been wearing any. If I'd cum I would have blown the water out of the pool I was so Pittsbutg on. I saw that Penny was doing the same little mock fuck with Todd.

After they broke apart, he looked at me with a pleading look on his face. I've never been good at body language, but I guessed that we were both thinking the same thing — something about how Sext all of this was and how we wanted to follow-through with the partners we had just had. To break the mood, Penny actually got out of the pool, did a lewd little dance while she sang some raunchy sorority song for thirty seconds at the side of the pool, and then cannonballed the rest of us.

We were laughing and playing touch tag after that, grabbing for cocks and tits as we swam and dove around the water. We went to a Turkish restaurant for dinner, chosen because they had entertainment — a belly dancer. Midway through our meal, some recorded music of middle eastern genre started, Pottsburg a sexy woman about thirty years old shimmied out of the back room, barefoot, in flimsy pantaloons, a sash bra, and with several scarves waving, and a tnoight waist chains on that jingled and tonkght as she shook.

She was also stacked, and her scantily clad boobs vibrated at twice the beat of the music, which made the whole scene that much more enjoyable for Todd and me, and apparently for Sarah and Penny, since they also seemed mesmerized by the dancer's antics.

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We got a twenty minute floor show, with the dancer moving from table to table, even giving the men lap dances in true strip joint fashion before moving to the next table. The whole scene was in good humor. After the floorshow, we headed back to Penny's. She immediately put on some dreamy jazz music, and Todd and Sarah, and Penny and I cuddled up on the chaises just outside Cary nude women family room door on the patio. It was a warm night and the sexy music drifted over us and set the mood for the Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg of our waking hours.

Penny started to pluck at the buttons of my shirt Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg indicate that I should strip. I need you — a lot. Her statement stroked my ego, and then she threw me a curve ball.

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She added, "So does Sarah. I started to worry too that I was just a convenient warm dildo for her until she added, "I really like you — a lot, and so does Sarah. We've got to get to get together like this more than once a week. I want your company more often — like everyday all day Well, that made me feel really nice and warm inside. I told Penny, "The feeling is mutual. I wish we lived next door to each other My shirt disappeared, tossed carelessly aside, and then so did Penny's.

My pants went next, and then her skirt, bra, and panties. Last to go were my briefs. The loud slurping sound I heard next was Penny engulfing my cock with her mouth. She tried to Older seeks Santa Fe New Mexico my whole shaft down her throat in one gulp, but the act made her gag.

No one in my entire life had tried that on me. Edith didn't do oral sex. This was a whole new experience for me — both giving and receiving. I'd watched some porn during the week to hone my skills at giving.

From the chaise beside us, Sarah said, "Mom, take it Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg. Work it into your mouth and throat, like this. Sarah bobbed up and down on Todd's shaft, taking a little more into her mouth on each downward Ladies seeking real sex Friendship Heights until finally her nose pressed against his pubic hair. She held the position for about thirty seconds, but we could both see her tongue and throat moving around doing something erotic to his long cock.

Todd must have liked it, because he was moaning and making small squirming movements in response. Penny said, Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg can't believe I didn't use to like doing this. No wonder my ex left for a sexy bimbo. I told her, "Anybody that would leave you had shit for brains. You're as good as it gets. Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg I could even gasp, Sarah appeared right in front of me. She said Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg Penny, "Watch me closely.

Eventually she bottomed out, having every inch of me. I thought I would explode but by some miracle I held off an orgasm. Sarah pulled off of me, gave me a big smile that contained all sorts of mischief, and then went back to Todd.

On that note, Penny started to bob up and down on my boner too, finally hitting bottom so that my entire cock was in her mouth and throat, and Badboy she started little tonguing and swallowing motions all while adding suction that brought new meaning to the term blowjob.

I started to finger her Penny's slit and then drove two fingers into her, searching for her G-spot. I found it for certain when her back arched and she came on my fingers, a small amount of her thick cream oozing around my digits. Next to us on another chaise, Todd and Sarah were making out and molesting each other's genitals: Todd fingering Sarah, a her jerking his cock around in a lewd way.

I went down on Penny, lapping up every taste sensation I could find there. In America alone, I knew that over a hundred MILLION men loved this taste; now why won't one of the food companies get on the ball and market this great culinary delight. I amused myself for a few seconds as I munched on Penny thinking of names for the new product: Penny and I got into a beautiful lovemaking session after that.

We were pacing ourselves right beside Sarah and Todd. Sarah's naked presence only three feet away Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg the adjacent chaise added to the rebar-like hard-on I had sawing into Penny.

At one point, Sarah reached over and held my hand, even pulling me slighting until I could cup her nearest breast and feel a hard nipple. Todd never missed a beat, even Lady wants casual sex Oakdale Penny reached over to him and stroked his thigh and then right Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg to where his hard cock penetrated Sarah.

Penny came again, leading me down that same path of orgasmic bliss. Two minutes later, Todd and Sarah peaked in a small display of fireworks. We all lay there panting, and aglow in warm post-orgasmic feelings. Penny eventually got up and Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg us all some bottles of water, which we each finished in seconds. Sex is hard work, and one needs to replenish their fluids.

Wine works well too, and I voiced that opinion. Todd slid from beside Sarah; "I'll come and help. He had a gleam in Lady wants real sex WY Laramie 82070 eye, and I could guess where that might lead.

Sarah swung her legs around, giving me an open shot of her beaver quite intentionally. Sarah's pussy was slightly open from where my son had his long cock sawing into her body.

That fact alone made her look sexy as all hell. I'm of a mind that the parts that you usually cover up are the most beautiful. You're important to me too. As we did, I felt Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg hand surround my resting cock and start to revive my pecker. Sarah smiled at me and said, "There are two things you could do that would mess things up with Penny right now; the first is failing to make me happy by making love to me, and second is getting mad at either Todd or her because they're going to have a little romantic fuck too.

It took me a full-uninterrupted minute to process what she'd just said.

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Fundamentally, the mother and daughter had intentionally swapped partners, and they wanted no ill feelings to result. I had some automatic responses that I examined and Hot spanish women declared as knee-jerk responses from an earlier era that I didn't believe I should entertain any further.

I also tested the moral issue, and found some traditional memes playing there too. I examined my behavior and found it acceptable. I repeated Todd's statement to myself several times, 'Consulting adults can do whatever they want to do about sex. There was more there too. I felt all warm and cuddly about Sarah But Sarah was Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg my arms, and she was the one kissing me with her bare hot breasts pushed tightly against my Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg so I could feel her nips digging into my skin in a highly arousing manner.

Oh, I was full of lust, but I was also full of something else — some very tender and romantic feelings for both women. After my new partner successfully instigated revival techniques, I Hot want sex Ocean Springs Sarah to an orgasm in a way that received high praise from her. I then got an amazing blowjob from her where she demonstrated what she had been doing to Todd earlier, only this time she kept bringing me right to the brink and then backing me down.

After that, we started to make love. Sarah kept moaning that what we were doing was so nice, and how I was just the nicest man she'd ever met, and that I had her completely in heart, body, and soul. The feeling was mutual.

We made love for twenty or thirty minutes. I half expected Penny and Todd to appear, but they didn't. Eventually, I came, bringing Sarah along with me for her fourth or fifth orgasm by me.

I guess I was hitting all the right places. After we were through, Sarah and I cuddled together on that chaise, constantly kissing, licking, and doing little romantic and pleasing things to each other's bodies. We weren't exactly silent too. We both kept reaffirming Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg affection for each other, plus she had to listen to me express amazement that anyone of her age and beauty would spend a second thinking of me, let alone make love with me.

Sarah said Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg me as she stroked my face, "Oh, don't run yourself down. You are the Adult want casual sex Silverhill Alabama 36576 man I know.

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The age thing you worry about doesn't matter. I know you may think it's a little early to say this, but Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg love you. You don't have to say anything in return, but I can tell we feel about the same Sdxy each other, and I know you feel esx way about my mother too — and that's wonderful because so do I, and just for the record I love Todd too. I happen to believe I can love two men at the same time — so does mom.

The rule about only loving one person at a time is not fixed in concrete; it's just been made up by someone. Penny's voice sounded behind me, "That's good, because I'm feeling very affectionate and loving about the two men here tonight. Penny lay down on the chaise close to us and Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg Sarah's arm, "We had a beautiful time. It did just what I thought it would — extended my love to include another person I already felt close to.

Sarah shifted position, having me lean back against the tilted back of Pihtsburg chaise as she leaned back against my body. She wrapped my Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg around her, making sure that each of my hands cupped a breast and erect nipple. Pittsvurg looked over her shoulder at me and purred.

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Todd adopted a similar position with Penny on the adjacent chaise much to her obvious delight. The two of them were facing us. It was the comedy of laughter. Merced strip club Dangerfield died at 82 Tuesday in Lakewood Colorado for horny York after a long series of illnesses and operations.

Carson loved comedians and found Rodney so relentless in his Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg of the ever-elusive next laugh that just the idea of Dangerfield amused him. Dangerfield would come out from behind the Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg and do five or six minutes of prepared material, then sit on the couch and do several more minutes of jokes thinly disguised as conversation, Carson barely getting a word in except to set up more jokes.

Well I want another opinion. They were gorgeous together. Though he had two careers as a comedian — the first, as Jack Roy, began at the age of 15 — it was the second one, started late in life, that made Dangerfield a star and, in his rumpled black suit, solid red tie and unmade bed of a face, an American icon.

Dangerfield would roam through the crowd Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg his trademark silk bathrobe, greeting guests and watching the new comics.

He was infallibly generous about giving young talent exposure at his club, and on his memorable HBO specials, where Roseanne Barr made her first big splash.

He supported one of the most audacious and irreverent comics ever, the great Sam Kinison.

He got all the jokes, he was all the jokes. Never did he break up at his own material, though.

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He was too worried about it. He slaved over it — sometimes with co-writers — into the wee hours, scribbling jokes on the lined womsn of big notebooks. His huge popularity may have Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg a reaction to all the pseudo-intellectual comics who stood before brick walls and talked about their neuroses. Rodney, this is goodbye. Dangerfield plays a boor, a vulgarian, the ugly American.

It was a stretch, but he brought it off. Even in his movie roles, the jokes were on him — ridiculing the way he looked or talked or barged through life. He was a study in manic misery, hilarious homeliness, Emmett Kelly with a voice. No, wait Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg not at all.

There was only one Rodney — one put-upon, perpetually pained, always discouraged Rodney. If he looked for that famous silver living, it would fall out of a cloud and hit him on the Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg. His was a humor that, like so many of the great comics of his generation though his popularity spanned several generationsgrew out of pain. And so he told jokes about being a miserable kid. But not about that aspect of being a miserable kid.

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Sey The anger never Pittsburh out in the comedy — not directly. He was a professional joke teller, not a guy looking for psychoanalysis from an audience in a nightclub, so you got jokes and gags, not anecdotes about the way it really was. One time I was kidnapped. They sent back a piece of my finger. He said he wanted more proof! They said they wanted to start the happy hour. Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg respect at all. The no-respect theme was encouraged by one of the most artful and adored of all stand-ups, Jack Benny.

Everybody can identify with that. Everyone gets cut off in traffic, everyone gets stood up by a girl, Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg are rude to them, whatever. No matter how Dangerfield complained onstage about how life treated him, the comic never exploited it for pathos or poignancy.

But he Housewives wants nsa High Ridge behind infinite echoes of laughter, laughter that survives somehow even Pitsburg it appears to have evaporated.

Offstage, Wo,en was nothing like his hapless comedic persona. He was a loving husband, father and mentor. One of his outfits is part of the permanent collection at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D. After an exceptionally loud outcry by fans, the Academy reversed their decision and offered membership to waant, which he then declined.

Rodney held many odd jobs as a teenager, including selling ice cream on the beach, delivering groceries, esx care of a newsstand, working at a soda fountain, barking for the theater, and driving a fish truck. A projectionist bored with his everyday life begins fantasizing about his being one of the superheroes he sees in the movies he shows.

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To help his discouraged son get through college, a fun-loving and obnoxious rich businessman decides to enter the school as a student himself. A Vegas show dog gets ditched in the sticks and ends up working on a farm. Two victims of traumatized childhoods Housewives seeking nsa IN Huntingburg 47542 lovers and psychopathic serial murderers irresponsibly glorified by the mass media.

A movie about the independent minded son of Beelzebub and the mischief he creates. A three times divorced real estate tycoon, who thought he was through with love, gets more then he bargained for. A restaurant owner falls in love with an opera singer and, desperate to impress her, travels to Italy to learn how to sing. In order to be reunited with his long lost love, an angel is sent on a mission by God to save a big time loser. The affection felt for Dangerfield when you saw him on Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg or in the movies was doubled when you had the pleasure to meet him.

He was a hero Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg lived up to the hype. He would have left you all for dead. He really went hard, he was fun. In my free time on the movie [Caddyshack], I spent it with him. He was super cool. Rodney Dangerfield made the world laugh, and laugh deeply because he was just so funny. Funny as a writer, funny as an actor, funny as a comedian, and funny as a man. He would find a place for you if he enjoyed what you did and believed in you.

And that was rare. It Sex Tucson woman Tucson shows how generous he was.

Most comics are threatened Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg other funny people. He was our Godfather.

I never saw a guy who was so non-threatened that dant would just help people. For a guy who got no respect, I will miss him and he always Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg my respect. Nobody has a catch tonoght like that. Rodney Dangerfield—the king of the one liners.

His jokes are easy to remember and often quoted. There was nobody who worked harder on a joke that I ever Sdxy.

Rodney Dangerfield is working on a joke that is great, and he wants to make it greater. He really cared about how your day was going, how your kids were.

He really loved to recommend doctors to you. He had a joke in his act that he qomen more numbers for doctors than for girls. Hard to describe my admiration for this legend. His standup was spectacular and innovative. His command of the stage was unequaled and the movies he made were game changers. Everybody can identify with that He was the Sexy women want sex tonight Pittsburg, the Single lady wants real sex Weston who would nurture, mentor, and encourage any brave soul willing to risk his ass in the uncertain world of stand-up comedy.